:::queue dramatic fight scene music:::
Today I had another epiphany! Yes, I'm on a roll so you can call me BUTTA! Ok seriously. I realized something new today. I realized that this battle in my head has been going on for a long time and when I listen to certain music it will literally play out in my head as a real battle usually with me VS some insurmountable odds. An army of men to fight with swords or light sabers or ground warfare with tanks and guns. I usually think it's just too many movie scenes playing out in my head due to me watching a lot of that kind of stuff and loving the idea of facing those suicidal odds and coming out on top or die trying like a true hero.
Today something hit me. This is me VS my anxieties and today for the first time I was victorious by a land slide. No self sacrificing, no fight to the death. I won. And I realized that in a strange way the reason why I'm drawn to those kind of movies and why these little action dramas play out in my head is because I'm literally at war with myself constantly. Today I turned it around and begun winning. This might sound strange, I don't know But this revelation filled me with energy. It was like "come hell or high water! I WIN!" THROUGH SHEER WILL AND BRUTE FORCE! like I've been saying these past few weeks. No matter how good or bad I feel or how good or bad my health is or whatever. No matter what I win. I'm on top. I'm the one. Today is my day. Victory is mine etc.
Yeah. Today was pretty good and I foresee good days ahead despite all of my anxieties and true or false health issues. This is my life and I WILL live it.
Sorry for the dramatics but this is how I need to do it. Try it, maybe you'll like it and hey, maybe it works for you too.
Have a good night and if you wake up tomorrow know that tomorrow is all you have and it's YOUR DAY!
Be well!
Lou
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